Today John Batdorf and I did a concert in the San Diego area. This was the singles’ conference I’ve been writing about and worrying about since the big P (pneumonia) rocked my world. The show went better than I ever dreamed it could have given my physical condition just 4 days ago, but the star aligned, the heavens opened, the pills were happenin’ and Batdorf, as per usual, was in great voice.
After the show I was lucky enough to speak to several of the attendees, which always humbles and encourages me after these events. People are kind and gracious and appreciative and it’s a truly wonderful exchange…but one soul stood out. It was a fellow who waited at the end of the reception line to thank me for saving his life. His words. Apparently he’d hit bottom emotionally and had decided the journey was too hard, the road too rough and he felt he couldn’t go on…and yet he did, and he said that listening to my songs had kept him hanging on as he listened to them each and every day for months. He got kind of tearful as he was thanking me, and then took my shoulders in both hands, gave me a shake, and said, “You can’t quit doing this. This matters. These songs, what they mean to people…it matters. Promise me you won’t stop writing.”
For most of my life, I’ve put conversations like this in a special context, just to keep me balanced. That context has been this: My friend had been through a tremendous ordeal which drove him to his knees in a way he’d never imagined possible…or that would ever be necessary. Then, heaven heard those prayers and lifted him and blessed him, using every mortal tool available to assist the guardian angels. Because some of my songs were there and because he was meeting me, he was taking all that gratitude and thanking me, in person, for a process that involved WAY more than my songs of me.
That’s been my context, and yet something was different about this exchange. It was the “promise me you won’t stop doing this” that got me. It put things on a future basis, not just a past memory. It challenged me to go to the places I may have to go to write the songs I couldn’t have written years ago. And that “challenge” was not meant to intimidate but rather to inspire. I’m taking what he said to heart.
I’m also taking my last pill in the first five day round of anti-biotics.
4 Comments
You are one of the kindest, most earnestly real people I know. Certainly, you have done – quietly – your Father’s work. And certainly, there is more of it you will do.
if the world could experience your heart, I think we could experience the City of Enoch
I know I always say it, but I am grateful you are you and have the courage & heart to share yourself.
Now on with the rest and chicken soup!! sending you love and peace from our house to yours!
(The FDA said I could not send chicken soup!)
Add these words to your file. Normally I would be the one at the front of the line telling you how “that one song” has helped at that particular time of my life, but this one couldn’t wait for a face to face. Tomorrow I will be divorced. It has been a tiring road. The Lord and I have walked it closely. It has been a comfort and a blessing to know there is happiness in the world and I can find it each day if I truly look for it. Not just smile and be happy, but heartfelt happiness in keeping the commandments and helping others to do the same. Thank you for being the instrument in His hands and allowing him to bless the lives of others through you. When I see you in Portland at Time Out For Women I will get “that one song” signed, and you might even get a hug from a thankful friend.
I believe I have tried to e-mail you many times but none of them have ever went through. I am an inactive member of the church due to many personal reasons although my heavenly father is close to my heart and by my side through every trial and tribulation. I first heard one song of yours about 12 years ago. “From God’s arms to my arms to yours”. It all began then when I fell in love withyour music. I have bought every CD I could get my hands on and when one got too scratched I would buy it again! I have given several of your CD’s as gifts and the last time you were in Billings, Montana my mother came to see you (of course nobody told me you would be there as I am the inactive one (lol)) and she bought your book and another CD “HOLD ON” for me. I have read the book a couple of times and so related to you in many aspects. My children think I am crazy as I listen to your music when I am cleaning, driving, etc. because it up lifts me and I have gotten so many messages out of your music. I recently went through a teenage son going through rehab for drug addiction and depression and suicidal thoughts. You have no idea…how your music helped me through it all. I could go on and on about every lyric and song and what I got out of each of them but I won’t do that to you. I truly just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I was just told you would be in Billings, Montana tomorrow the 10th and I am so excited! I am trying to get tickets (last minute). I do hope I get to see you in person as this is truly something I have dreamed about.
Again I thank you! You have a beautiful SOUL and whether you know it or not you have connected with me and helped me through so many hard times and I am sure will continue! Kathleen