It was a tag line we used decades ago when I was writing and producing Public Service Announcements (aka HOMEFRONT commercials) for my church: The message to families was simple: If you love ‘em, tell ‘em. I haven’t thought about that line for a long time, though I have ALWAYS believed it to be extremely wise counsel.
Then, this afternoon Lynne and I were visiting with friends in the neighborhood and we got to talking about life, the economy, our families, the future…all the stuff friends of nearly three decades talk about, and the line used in those public service ads years and years ago started blasting away, almost interrupting my ability to follow the flow of the conversation. The words kept repeating: If you love ‘em, tell ‘em.
Well, I thought, they KNOW I love them. Everything about our friendship confirms this. No need to make a big deal out of this, I reasoned. I’ll give them both a hug as we leave and say something like, “Sure love you guys” and then slip out the door. That was the plan. But it didn’t work that way. The words, “If you love ‘em tell ‘em” refused to be silenced, like an alarm with no snooze button.
It was at this point I checked out of the conversation with our friends and had a silent exchange with this “other” voice.
“So how would you have me tell them I love them?” I asked.
“Something better than that lame, ’sure love you guys’ you planned for when you head out the door.” was the answer. If you love ‘em, AND YOU DO, tell them NOW!!!
So I did, and as I did, I found out something I didn’t know. I loved them even more than I thought. We said goodbye and a few minutes later when I got back home I slipped into the bathroom and sobbed. I couldn’t control it and it lasted longer than I thought it needed to. It was the good kind of crying, but I don’t think I can articulate all the reasons why it was as intense and lasted as long as it did.
Now, several hours later, there’s a residue of that feeling holding me close. It’s like the hug you don’t ever want to let go of, but you know you have to at some point. So, my mission to be happy thought for today came in the form of words I proclaimed over the airwaves years ago, aimed at others but boomeranged back on a frequency discernable only by the heart.
3 Comments
Yes.
I’m reading this after a traumatic weekend. Our family was in a serious car accident. All nine of us…….in our suburban that we named Clifford. It’s big, it’s red, it’s Clifford……Clifford took one for the family…..the truck is totalled. This evening we are now under the same roof. One of our sons spent the night in the hospital and is home now recovering. We’re all alive, and we’re all telling each other how much we love each other………because we can.
After over 26 years together, we still tell each other every day that we love, and why. It must be paying off because our teenage son thinks nothing about saying, “I love you Mom” as he hangs up his phone in front of his peers.
I have a few regrets of people I didn’t say it enough to that are now out of my life through the binds of mortality or the binds of pride. Either way, I regret it. And someday, I will make it right…maybe not here, but somehow, somewhere.
You continue to be an inspiration Michael.
PS. Check the mail soon. A package full of goodness should arrive soon.