Today I gave the “toodle-oo” to someone who has not been bringing out the best in me. Those of you who’ve read the M2B:) handbook and heard the Toodle-oo song (track 9) have a context for this, but for those of you who haven’t I’ll give you the Reader’s Digest Version. Getting rid of the negative influences in our lives can be a daunting challenge, particularly for those of us who feel oddly guilty about doing it. But if you don’t the negativity can rob you of hundreds if not thousands of wonderful M2B:) moments. The chorus to the song goes: “Give your time to those who need you. Give your trust to the friends who are true. But if you give your love to those who choose to misuse you, Give yourself permission to give them the toodle-oo.” Well, today I realized that it was time to give the toodle-oo to someone I’ve tried to extend my best M2B:) self to but unfortunately the energy that’s been coming back has been sort of toxic. And it’s clear to me I’m not going to be able to clean up the dump site…like, ever.
I didn’t say anything to this person face to face or write a note. Didn’t leave a “toodle-oo” voice mail or do an “un-friend” gesture on Face Book. I’ve just switched that delete button inside that takes this person off my list of people that need to be a part of my life and I can’t tell you how relieved I feel. I just now took three deep breaths and I’m owning this moment. It’s an odd sort of freedom. I really have given myself permission to let him go.
The funny part is, this fellow will probably never know he was toodle-ooed. He probably won’t even notice how much more pleasant I am or even begin to understand what’s come over me. And I doubt he’ll ever hear the bridge of track 9 and think it has ANYTHING to do with him, when I sing about those people I believe we should toodle-oo: Hey It’s not all their fault. WAIT, I take that back! Maybe they’re just bad for you, And if that’s a stone cold fact, Then say you’re dumpin everyone who’s bringing out your worst, and they are not the only one, but their name came up first.”
So, as I head off to bed my inner Forest Gump is telling me, So you gave somebody the toodle-oo today? You’ll probably sleep well…one less thing.
3 Comments
Thank you for sharing your M 2 B
with the world. Thank you for your book and the music you have given us to uplift and inspire. I have been following along on this mission since before Christmas. I have recently had some pretty big reasons for being happy. I don’t want to spam your comments section, but I wrote about them on my blog. I would love it if I could share those moments with you.
-Steph
My seven year old thinks your Toodle-oo song is the best one you have ever done, and trust me she knows a good number of them by heart. I think it’s great you found a way to Toodle-oo someone, without destroying them in the process. Gives me hope I can do the same with someone in my life. Thanks again for all you share with us.
Giving the Toodle-oo is sometimes a really really hard thing. I am the type of person that doesn’t like confrontation AT ALL. I want everybody to be happy even if it as my own cost/risk. Four, almost five years ago something happened in my life that forced me to make some changes. For the first time in my life I’ve had to put myself first so that I can be here for my family. My husband and children and sometimes that means if someone comes to my door, if I give them even a second of my energy……there is nothing left for my kids and husband. One of many hard things I’ve had to do in my life. Not so easy. Wish it was easier to hit that delete button but for me…..it’s painful.
And if Kristen reads this she’ll probably tell you and yell at me that I don’t hit that delete button often enough. It’s a work in progress…….