On the Southwest flight from LA to Denver I sat next to a young mother, about twenty seven years old, and her adorable, blonde twenty-month old son. It was emotional for me, as you can imagine. As soon as I sat down she said, “I apologize in advance.” I looked confused and asked her “For what?” She nodded at her son and said, “Well, two year olds aren’t known for being award winning travel companions.”
At this point her son turned around from staring out the jet’s window and smiled at me. It was the two year old’s way of saying, “Trust me, dude, I’ll be cool. She’s new at this traveling with the kid thing and worries a lot, but she’s great and I’m great and I promise I won’t wake you up if you take a nap” I know this because I have the gift of interpreting two year old smiles and gurgles. I think it’s one of the spiritual gifts listed right after gift of tongues.
In any event, the smile was magical. That little boy’s expression seemed to reach into my tender heart and transfer an almost imperceptible spark of peace. Though I couldn’t capture it I felt it.
When the plane landed a few hours later I congratulated the little guy for being as good as his smile. He didn’t rob me of a nano second of nap time. Then I congratulated the mom on a job well done. She beamed a bit and then sighed that her fears were unfounded. She placed a Lightning McQueen back pack on the kid and then slung her pack over her shoulder. They were ready for their next adventure. As I waved goodbye, she smiled at me. Did I tell her about our family’s loss? How did she know I needed “that” smile just then?
To get to the passenger pick-up area from where we landed required taking the underground train from concourse C to the main terminal. While being shuttled I checked my phone for messages and found such compassionate and thoughtful messages from those who’ve been following my mission to be happy online. Each message of love and concern and reassurance and understanding was like those smiles. I felt them all. I couldn’t cling to them as long as I wanted, but the fleeting sparks of peace all tapped out a coded message my heart was able to translate: You’re loved, you’re cared for, if you hurt, we hurt, you don’t have to carry this alone.
Right now, writing this and connecting the dots of my experience this afternoon I’m feeling it again. Now. This moment. Not something I’m able to manufacture on my own. Something sweet is with me. I don’t want it to leave. Thank you for your prayers. The funeral is Thursday. I’ve been asked to sing some of my songs. I’m going to call them all together and ask for volunteers. I’ll let you know which ones raise their voices.
3 Comments
I missed your posts over the weekend. I am so sorry for your loss. You are such an inspiration thank you for shairing your true self. We are taught we must have the pain to be able to feel the joy. As you prepair for the funeral let the memories of those joyful memories fill your heart, I testify that they will ease the pain. I will be in Surgery on thursday but you and your family will be in my prayers. It may seem strange to some to say I love you brother to someone you have not met. but it is true I Love You Brother
I wanted to shair one other thing with you. 3 years ago as my wife and I were buying some Kettel corn befor your performance of The Forgotten Carols I recieved a phonecall from my sister. My youngest brother died that day of a heart attack. We decided to stay and watch as this was our first time seeing your show. I think I did rather well throughout the performance and felt the spirit that that was were i needed to be right then. Then at the end of your show I think you know what part I am thinking about.You have us all sing with you WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER SOMEDAY. The tear came for me for losing a brother, for his wife for losing a husband, his children for losing their dad. Again for me for losing my dad when he was just 56. And for all the lovedones we all have to lose for a while. There is an old saying The only way out of this life is through death. You helped me then I wish I could help you now. you are in my thoughts and Prayers
It’s a Joy and a wonder how little children can reach that deepest part of you that maybe nobody has ever reached before. As you set and listen to a child bare his or her’s testimony of the gospel doesn’t it just bring a smile to your face and burning in your heart and chest out? Every time I see and hear a child speak about Our Father in Heaven and see the wonderment in their little tiny faces it’s a Joy to me! I believe on your mission to be happy this day, God new you needed to know how much he loves you. As you looked into that 2 year old little boys face on the flight from CA to CO, It was God’s way of giving you that peace for a glimpse that You’re Not ALONE! Nothing is more special than a little child that just came from the presents of God how much closer can you get to heaven than when your in the presents of a child. As you know just from being around your two beautiful grandchildren.
I continue to pray for you and your family. I don’t know if this has made much sense, but I hope it has maybe helped a bit. I Love You Brother McLean! Thanks for all you do to brighten my days. I look so forward to your posts every day on your M2B:). I am continuing to pray for you and your family. May God send his most choices blessings upon your family and the comfort you all stand in need of at this most difficult and trying time.