After a day of rehearsing John invited me to be his guest at his gym. While he was playing raquetball I searched for the perfect machine that would get my heart pumping without hammering my knees. I selected the one that looked like something that would probably do my exercising for me if only I could program it right. I think I spent about 10 minutes wondering why the “quick start” button wasn’t doing anything. Aha. My bad. I was actually supposed to DO something with my legs, as in MOVE THEM, to set everything in motion. The movement wasn’t running, it wasn’t stair stepping, it wasn’t walking….it was striding, I think. I got so enamored with the machine’s built in TV that I never really figured out which buttons to push to give me the maximum benefit from my work out. I did however figure out how to watch the news.
The problem with watching the news when you’re on a machine like this is that you have to read the subtitles because you can’t actually hear the news without special headphones which I didn’t have. And I quickly discovered that striding along on this contraption made my head bob up and down so dramatically I could only catch every third or fourth word. This provided a great opportunity for a guy on a mission to be happy to MAKE UP THE NEWS of the day. Let me share with you my report.
We’re all doing just fine. The recession’s pretty much over. People are getting back to work and finding meaningful employment in jobs that serve humanity in the most significant and compassionate ways. Violence ended, world wide. People found a way to resolve their conflicts peacefully and terrorists took the day off because they were tired of scaring the rest of us. And the carbon footprint was so small the ozone healed itself.
And speaking of healing, cures for cancer, heart disease, MS and diabetes were discovered and the medicines needed to heal us will be effective and affordable without congress having to reform the health care system. This is possible because health care, like the ozone, miraculously healed itself. The Republicans decided that all Democrats love the country as much as they do and so they actually offered several concrete suggestions for solving our problems besides don’t do anything and it will all work out. The Democrats, simultaneously expressed appreciation for their former rivals work to improve our country and reached across the aisle to do the hokey-pokey BECAUSE, my fellow Americans, THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT!!
It took about thirty minutes to make up this news of the day, and I was breathing heavy but I wasn’t sweating enough. Everybody surrounding me in that gym was sweating. You could see them sweating. Everybody had their own towel. Oh, that’s the problem. I didn’t have my own towel. After fetching one I returned to my machine only to find it occupied by a person WHO WAS ALREADY SWEATING WHEN HE GOT ON!!!
I knew I didn’t have the mental capacity to take on another machine, but I really wanted to sweat so I got in the sauna and waited. Nothing. It was really hot in there, and after awhile I started feeling claustrophobic so I left that wooden room (sweatless) and sat for a few minutes in the jacuzzi. It felt great and after I showered and changed I was pretty happy that I’d worked out and got caught up on the great good news of the day and could return to John’s place for dinner and conversation and….
….AND WHEN we arrived at John’s house I realized that my Driver’s License wasn’t in my wallet. A nano second later, I was sweating.
Midst my panic, John called the gym to see if my license could be reclaimed and while he was on the phone I noticed his television had the news on and guess what? Everything’s NOT fine in the world. People are suffering, violence is rampant, the stock market fell over 200 points (whatever that means) everyone in politics hates anyone who’s not on their side and to solve all our global challenges is going to take a lot of hard work. Does the expression blood, sweat and tears mean anything to you?
So, how and where did I find authentic, meaningful happiness in a world that won’t let me make up the news? I’m going to have to talk this over with God before I go to sleep and find out what He has to say about this. I’m looking forward to this conversation. Believing as I do that He’s there (or is it Here?) is important to me and makes me happy at this moment. It will be interesting to find out how happy I’ll be during my moments in prayer. Particularly if part of His answer is, “Don’t panic, don’t fear. I can handle this…No Sweat.”
February 4th: No Sweat
After a day of rehearsing John invited me to be his guest at his gym. While he was playing raquetball I searched for the perfect machine that would get my heart pumping without hammering my knees. I selected the one that looked like something that would probably do my exercising for me if only I could program it right. I think I spent about 10 minutes wondering why the “quick start” button wasn’t doing anything. Aha. My bad. I was actually supposed to DO something with my legs, as in MOVE THEM, to set everything in motion. The movement wasn’t running, it wasn’t stair stepping, it wasn’t walking….it was striding, I think. I got so enamored with the machine’s built in TV that I never really figured out which buttons to push to give me the maximum benefit from my work out. I did however figure out how to watch the news.
The problem with watching the news when you’re on a machine like this is that you have to read the subtitles because you can’t actually hear the news without special headphones which I didn’t have. And I quickly discovered that striding along on this contraption made my head bob up and down so dramatically I could only catch every third or fourth word. This provided a great opportunity for a guy on a mission to be happy to MAKE UP THE NEWS of the day. Let me share with you my report.
We’re all doing just fine. The recession’s pretty much over. People are getting back to work and finding meaningful employment in jobs that serve humanity in the most significant and compassionate ways. Violence ended, world wide. People found a way to resolve their conflicts peacefully and terrorists took the day off because they were tired of scaring the rest of us. And the carbon footprint was so small the ozone healed itself.
And speaking of healing, cures for cancer, heart disease, MS and diabetes were discovered and the medicines needed to heal us will be effective and affordable without congress having to reform the health care system. This is possible because health care, like the ozone, miraculously healed itself. The Republicans decided that all Democrats love the country as much as they do and so they actually offered several concrete suggestions for solving our problems besides don’t do anything and it will all work out. The Democrats, simultaneously expressed appreciation for their former rivals work to improve our country and reached across the aisle to do the hokey-pokey BECAUSE, my fellow Americans, THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT!!
It took about thirty minutes to make up this news of the day, and I was breathing heavy but I wasn’t sweating enough. Everybody surrounding me in that gym was sweating. You could see them sweating. Everybody had their own towel. Oh, that’s the problem. I didn’t have my own towel. After fetching one I returned to my machine only to find it occupied by a person WHO WAS ALREADY SWEATING WHEN HE GOT ON!!!
I knew I didn’t have the mental capacity to take on another machine, but I really wanted to sweat so I got in the sauna and waited. Nothing. It was really hot in there, and after awhile I started feeling claustrophobic so I left that wooden room (sweatless) and sat for a few minutes in the jacuzzi. It felt great and after I showered and changed I was pretty happy that I’d worked out and got caught up on the great good news of the day and could return to John’s place for dinner and conversation and….
….AND WHEN we arrived at John’s house I realized that my Driver’s License wasn’t in my wallet. A nano second later, I was sweating.
Midst my panic, John called the gym to see if my license could be reclaimed and while he was on the phone I noticed his television had the news on and guess what? Everything’s NOT fine in the world. People are suffering, violence is rampant, the stock market fell over 200 points (whatever that means) everyone in politics hates anyone who’s not on their side and to solve all our global challenges is going to take a lot of hard work. Does the expression blood, sweat and tears mean anything to you?
So, how and where did I find authentic, meaningful happiness in a world that won’t let me make up the news? I’m going to have to talk this over with God before I go to sleep and find out what He has to say about this. I’m looking forward to this conversation. Believing as I do that He’s there (or is it Here?) is important to me and makes me happy at this moment. It will be interesting to find out how happy I’ll be during my moments in prayer. Particularly if part of His answer is, “Don’t panic, don’t fear. I can handle this…No Sweat.”