Watching someone grow up is a happy thing, particularly when it’s someone you care about. I had a terrific conversation with a young friend of mine today and noticed something different about her. In fact, I asked her what it was that seemed changed about her. She said, “I think I’m just starting to grow up.”
She didn’t mean it in the chronological sense; like she was acknowledging she was getting older. No. She meant that she sense she was maturing, seeing things outside of her own world, and taking even more responsibility for her life. Hearing her talk about her life in these terms made me happy. But seeing something in her eyes that backed up her words was what truly blessed my day with an unexpected joy.
It seems to me there’s a fine line between being so anxious for someone’s “growing up” that we actually impede the process OR being so “patient” that we end up enabling or tacitly encouraging the sustained immaturity. As a parent I don’t think I got the balance quite right, though I desperately wanted to. As a friend of many young people I think I’m getting better at it. It may be because I’m seeing more of the good things, the hopeful things, the promising things my young friends have within them. And when they aren’t quite living up to their potential, yet, I see the day when they get it together, and I’d like them to remember the old songwriter guy who loved them through it.
I’m happy today for all the people I feel this way about. There are many out there, possibly reading this, who have to be the “tough love” people and they probably wish they didn’t have to be. There are parents struggling to find the balance between discipline and encouragement; supporting in a very real sense and not becoming enablers getting conned. My heart is with every soul on that journey. But at this moment, I’m not carrying THAT particular burden. I get to be the “glass half full of the spirit” guy and it feels good.
Is there anybody out there who hasn’t wished for someone to believe in them, even when they fall short sometimes? Someone who chooses to catch them being their best rather than shake their heads with disappointment when they fall. Just knowing that I want to be that guy makes like myself a little more than before I discovered this on my mission to be happy.
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Michael,
I’m still ruminating in my brain the experience and the pleasure I had living inside of Noah/Michael this weekend. It’s good to go out on top and we had (including the 600 year old brain in the 52 year old body) our biggest audience and about as close to a perfect show as we could. It still amazes me when a show hits it’s stride and everyone feels a different vibe and sense of how good an ensemble can work together. You don’t know what adds that extra spark, but you know when it happens, and we had it for the last two performances.
Unfortunately the final video you will see when it is edited is from the matinee on Saturday where technical problems like the monitors and a few mikes becoming possessed, but my guess is that you will still find happiness in seeing your baby brought to life.
Why this fit in with your theme of the day, is it gave me a chance to reflect on how growing up has affected my own family. As you know, not having the “little ones” running around on a regular basis any more makes you savor the times when they are all under the same roof as it begins to happen less and less now that they are all “big ones” . We had that opportunity at that matinee to be with the whole brood minus my mother at home with a grandchild who was overnight not feeling well.
As an actor you know that sharing your performance means so much more when you are able to have it remain in the family collective memory years later. It’s something that when they are growing up you did with every school concert, recital, or performance they have done through the years. We have both been blessed with also sharing the stage with each family member at different times which you know is an extra special blessing in itself.
And they all found ways to contribute to this production too! Nancy of course contributed in so many ways as the director of the whole thing. My son and girlfriend, who arrived just as the curtain went up after driving through snow measured in feet from upstate, was consulted on the problems we were having with the monitor speakers (always nice to get some pay back for the college tuition since he has specialized in audio engineering). My daughter and husband were able to give their critical eyes and give honest feedback on the production (and with Colleen’s attention to detail note that gastroenteritis is 15 letters not 14 letters as in the script).
My father as only a father can do when I first walked out in the audience and said “Eliza they wouldn’t bite the hand that feeds them” reached out and grabbed my leg and roars. And I as only a son can do, returned the favor by sneaking up on him and screaming (heart condition or not!) for the missing hand bit.
Like the production they all returned after the show to their lives apart from us, and like the performances we give, they are gone soon after they happen. But the memories are forever etched in our collective minds to be savored for years to come. Thanks! I started writing this at 5:00 in the morning and I already have a happy mission moment for my day!
We had a little guy in our class last year that seemed to be in trouble constantly, in fact it got to the point his parents wanted a daily report. A couple of weeks into this plan, we decided we didn’t like it, so we changed it. We made it a point of finding at least one thing he did good everyday and wrote it down on a happy note. You would not believe the difference in this little guy. He was still a handful, but he tried harder, knowing that at last there were two people who were going to notice and let someone else know. I agree, it’s wonderful when we get to be that person for someone.
My sister had a bad example in her teenage years, my mother, sadly to say. She had 2 children out of wedlock. We encouraged her to accept her ward’s efforts at befriending her and all(v. teach, etc.). I told her that she would be blessed eventually with someone who’d take care of her if she was trying as much as was possible for her. When her now-husband came around, I knew he was the one I’d talked about. He’d seen the rough side of life, too, was parenting 3 children on his own, pretty much, and was trying to come back around. They ended up getting pregant, not knowing if the relationship would work. Eventually, events led my sister to realize she couldn’t do it alone anymore and they’ve been married a year and a half now, are in a new house, raising 6 children between them. And going to church and serving callings.
I always wondered when I was going to “grow up”. It didn’t happen when I got married, it didn’t happen when I had kids, and it didn’t happen when I paid the mortgage on my first house. I think it happens little by little as we learn from our experiences. Much like a mission to be happy it’s the process and not the destination that truly helps us. With the Lord at my side and a little help from songs written by the “glass half full of the spirt guy” I think I”ll enjoy my journey.
Mike. You’ve always been that for us. Always.